The Sincerity and Embarrassment of Writing a Blog
This is my third attempt at creating a blog. Over and over I have tried to create a fascinating and witty reflection of how interesting I think I am through writing. And each time I hit publish, I immediately switch into panic mode, trying to figure out if I was cool or smart, or funny enough for the five people reading my essay on fast fashion. Since childhood, I've enjoyed creative writing, although I was the slowest typer in my computer class by far. (How unfair is that? Not only was I the slowest at the mile run, but I also averaged around 12 words per minute in typing. Figures!) Creative writing has always made me feel organized and certain about my ideas; my inner monolog is constantly marathoning, so honing in on my thoughts is cathartic for me. My love of writing grew out of my reading obsession- the Babymouse to XO Jane pipeline is real. I wrote short stories for summer camp, created webpages for fake characters in middle school, and spent my free time writing and illustrating short stories as a teenager. This is a trait I picked up from my mom, who would always write the sweetest and most thoughtful essays about her own experiences growing up.
With that said, I'm going to try to stick with it this time! Whether anyone decides to read or not, I'd like to create a space for my ideas, inspiration, and plans regarding my artistic practice. And god, I know I sound so formal writing this, but hopefully I'll sound less like a librarian and more like myself over time. I'm painfully self-aware, and this can be a burden when I write. I get embarrassed knowing that people can read and judge me for my opinions, but now that I'm twenty-six I feel ready to move past my self-doubts and lay it all on the page. Wow, that sounds so corny. My bad. Going forward, my posts will be much more centered on my work and the art world, although knowing me I'll probably slip in a couple of opinion pieces from time to time. My goal is to stay authentic and honest about how things are working out for me since graduation. Also, I really need to get my WPM up from 12. Win-win.
Currently reading: Carrie Soto is Back- Taylor Reid Jenkins
Currently listening to: PAPERMOON- Tommy Heavenly6
Currently obsessed with: Strathmore recycled sketchbooks (120 sheets)